Everything about this is gold. Pure gold. Tinder Date #1 en Argentina fue una gran success.
With all the hype of #tinderball2016, people have really been stepping up their game. And last night was the first of many dates to come, and as I sit here writing this, I am LOL-ing about everything that happened.
So back to the beginning. My friend Danielle had been talking to *Gustavo* on Tinder since Thursday. Gustavo was rocking the soul patch, graphic T and looked like he was down for a good time (and possibly a Nickleback concert). Danielle was mucho excited when Gustavo asked if she was libre el domingo to take a drink and the date was set.
Sunday afternoon comes around and Gustavo asks Danielle “My cuestion was… if yo u have a woman friends and i go with my friend…take a drink.”
I have become that woman friend (lol) and my day has taken a turn from me wanting to go to bed early and get organized for the week to going on a double date – #doitfortheblog amiright?
And since we’re in a new city in South America, our two other friends nicely offered to sit at a separate table at the bar to make sure everything was going okay. Super nice of them to be concerned for our well-being… and we needed them as we wanted the night to be documented and they promised to “live-Slack” the night’s events to the rest of our 70 friends.
9p came around and Danielle and I were ready for the night. Gustavo had chosen a bar nearby and after a pregame glass of Rose, estamos listos. Upon meeting Gustavo y el amigo (I already forget his name), I saw our 2 friends out of the corner of my eye, and knew it would be tough to keep a straight face, knowing we would be being watched the entire time.
Not only are first dates already awkward, but let’s throw in the major language barrier and two other friends sitting nearby to document the entire thing. Oh Dios!
Los hombres chose the drinks and then it was a mix of my minimal Spanish, Danielle’s level 0 Spanish (no offense, girl), and Google Translate FTW. And one of the first questions that gets asked was “Cual es tu trabajo?” Standard question for a date, I told them I am in advertising and Danielle is in recruiting. My date is a PE teacher, and then things got interesting as Danielle’s date begins to describe his.
Gustavo: Ah si yo soy un animator!
Danielle: Oh, an animator! Like animation for movies? Cool!
Gustavo: Ah, yes, yo soy un animator de juegos para las fiestas de jovenes.
He. Is. A. Clown. Tinder Date #1 and he is a clown. Como se dice clown en español? Payaso… él es un payaso.
At this point, I knew I needed to wait a few minutes before updating our friends at the next table over. There’s just no chance I could watch their reactions to this news and keep it cool. So about 3 minutes go by before I shoot the message their way. And then I saw their reactions, and all was lost. I tried to not laugh, which made me cry. And then when los hombres asked why I was crying, I said it was pollen allergies (is there even pollen in Argentina?), and they told me that pharmacies here sell Allegra. So friendly!
The Spanglish conversation went on for a few minutes and luckily the clown was very good at charades so we could somewhat keep up. He also pulled out his phone and proceeded to show us not 1 but 3 YouTube clips of him on the job. LOLZ.
Danielle and I laugh along, I mean, the clown has all of the jokes… And thanks to Google Translate, we tell him “Todos los chistes!!!” #theclownisfunny
Next thing I know, my date stood up, walked towards our friends at the other table and came back to sit down. He told us “Pienso que estos personas tienen un camera de video.”
ABORT MISSION. Our friends weren’t as incognito as they thought, and I quickly sent a text to tell them to tone it the F down or else our night would have been a big #fail.
When our drinks are drank and the free peanuts for the table have been picked at, the clown asks for the check. There was no conversation about getting a second round, and he tells us that we are leaving to go have a vino fiesta con un champagne shower at their casa. Ummmmmm…. pardon but I don’t recall agreeing to this?
One beer and the free table peanuts? And these guys think that we’re going to get in their car back to their house? Yeah, no. That’s not how this game is played, señores. Como se dice WTF?
Before we called it a night, we took a selfie (naturally). Too bad this blog is anonymous so I can’t post a pic of my face IRL, but let’s just say it’s super cute and you can totally tell who the clown is.
We said our adioses to the clown and his amigo, did a lap around the block and headed back into the bar to meet our spy friends. The spies had been keeping up the live-feed, letting the rest of our friends know everything that was going down in real time.
Another friend checked the live-Slack after his own Tinder date and came to meet up with us as well. As he described she was “awkward and boring” but a really hot pole dancer. So I think Tinder en Argentina promises to be amazing.
Needless to say – Danielle’s #tinderball2016 date might be the clown, who will moonlight as the juggler at the fiesta for us, and we’ll invite the poll dancer for the hell of it. Might not be getting a new novio, but I am getting closer to forming my own Argentinian circus.