Chekk Out the Cusqueñas

If I get a text back from the guy I went on a date with last night, than he might actually be the juan. It’s currently 2:45 and I’m taking my lunch break at work to write this and am anxiously waiting for that text… will I get it? Probably not. And here’s why:

I showed up for my date last night dressed as an Indigenous Cusqueña woman (and didn’t warn him beforehand).  Outfit pictured below, titled Tinkus:

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You might be wondering why I thought this would be appropriate for a first date, and I have to admit that I didn’t even lose a bet to get myself into this situation. I’ve been living in Cusco for 2 weeks and have really started to embrace the culture here. This includes my #30daychallenge that I created for myself to see how many pictures I can get with a llama / alpaca / baby goat in the month that I’m living in Cusco.  Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I’m doing a really good job, and I think my followers find it entertaining (and if they don’t, they’ve probably unfollowed me on Instagram by now – their loss).  My love for the Cusqueña culture also includes but is not limited to alpaca scarves, llama necklaces, cholita earrings, and traditional textiles.

So when I found out that the charity event that I went to last night involved a Pisco making competition, I naturally decided I needed to up the competition and get into full costume.  You also might be wondering where a non-local like me would get my hands on a full Cusqueña outfit. And no, despite what you may think, I didn’t fight a woman in the streets and trade her for my LuluLemon athleisure.  There are actual warehouses that exist here with binders full of options of outfits to rent (for you Fairfield County readers, it was Walter Schalk’s closet). You just choose your favorite and ten soles (~$3 USD) later, you’ve transformed your whole sense of self into a full-blown Peruvian.  I somehow convinced my Pisco partner Kelly to dress up with me, and we were a sight to be seen in the streets of Cusco last night.

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In between making Pisco cocktails for our amigos, I was obviously swiping, seeing if there were any potential backpackers to be found on Tinder. And as luck would have it, Luke was a match <3.  We sent a few messages back and forth, he’s from Cali, is a teacher, and is here in South America for a month or two. He asked what my plans were for the evening and I replied that was at a “chastity event” which LOL to that autocorrect fail on a Tinder message (obviously meant to say “charity event” – my B!). He mentioned that his hostel was having a beer pong tournament starting at 10p and asked if I wanted to be his partner when my event was over.  Naturally I wanted my other Cholita-clad amiga to come with me, and asked if he had an amigo that needed Kelly as his partner.  And he did, so Kelly and I had as much pisco as possible to prepare for our double date as Cholitas, that’s just not a situation that you can be sober for.

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Kelly and I showed up to the hostel and met my date in the lobby.  To his surprise, we weren’t dressed as normal backpackers in cargo pants and hiking shoes.  He was a good sport about it and complimented us, asking if we came from a costume party fundraiser. Nope! Just wanted show our appreciation for the Cusco culture.  He laughed and told me that he appreciated people with a good sense of humor, but in all honesty he was probably just saying that to be polite.  I also forgot to mention that since I broke my collarbone, I was wearing my sling on top of my long-sleeved dress.  Como sé dice sexy en Español? Because I think I nailed it.

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Kelly and her date played the first round of beer pong while my date asked me all about my travels.  I told a few stories about the past three and a half months in South America, including the tale of Death Road which I think made me seem kinda badass.  He and I played the next round of beer pong, and guess who got the winning shot?! Chekk out the Cusqueña!!!  We played a second round and then called it a night when the clock struck midnight. Time to get the Peruvian Princess home to get a good night’s sleep, as it was only a Tuesday night.

I debated on texting him this morning to thank him for a fun time, but I decided I would wait to see if he reaches out to me for a second date… or if I totally weirded him out by showing up for a first date dressed as I was.  I’ve seen the movie He’s Just Not That Into You, I know how this all works. If he wants to see me again, he’ll text me.  But now it’s a little later in the day and the only text I’ve gotten today is my phone provider telling me that I need to add money to my data plan, which could be the reason I haven’t gotten any messages if I have no data left.  In that case, time for a re-fill so I can refresh Tinder a few more times and wait for a followup date.  Wish me luck!

UPDATE: It’s now 5:30, my phone has been recharged, and I’m still waiting for that second date…

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